Mother entitlement is the phenomenen where a mother feels that she is the most important person in their child's life even when she is not or should not be. Despite the fact that mother entitlement is rampant in divorce cases it does not get much press. It never gets negative press. Rather, it is ussually applauded in the press.
A case in point is the recent the North Carolina case where a mother with stage 4 cancer "lost" her kids to their father. The court sited concerns about the uncertainty of mother's health in making its decision. This has been responded to with furious outcry. See New York Daily News, http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/05/12/2011-05-12_alaina_giordano_breast_cancer_patient_loses_custody_of_children_because_of_illne.html, NBC (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/42986817#42986817), Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-cousins/alaina-giordano_b_860844.html), Daily Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1385143/Alaina-Giordano-loses-custody-children-breast-cancer.html?ito=feeds-newsxml). That the mom has cancer is unfair to everyone. Cancer is tragic. But why the outcry that the children will now be raised with dad? Dad's parenting has not been critized in this story. Dad is presumably a great dad. Maybe he is only an okay dad or perhaps he is a bad dad. Naturally that is not the question. The question is why is Mother being descriminated against.
Mother entitlement is a problem because it can be this strong and stronger. We regularly see cases where women in all manner of unfortunate circumstances cannot see that their children may be better off with their father. Many in the court system, society and the press are guilty of the same thing. Because our court system only gives lip service to the best interest factors and giving both parents a fair shot at custody, mother entitlement is regulary reinforced and rewarded. Stories like the one above only reinforce the attitude that any mother no matter the circumstances is better than the father at raising children.
Every parent in a custody case must ask themselves what is in their child's best interest and carefully consider how much they are conflicted by their own understandable but not necessarily relevant desire to be with their children. Everyone else looking at these situations must ask themselves what is in the child's best interest and leave antiquated notions about care giving out of it. Until everyone is more objective about what is best for the children, children will continue getting cheated out having real access to both parents.
